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Getting A Divorce? 3 Ways To Cope When The Kids Want To Live With Your Ex Instead Of You

Law Blog

Divorce often dredges up painful emotions, and you may find that it hits the relationship that you have with your kids particularly hard. Dealing with child custody and visitation issues is one of the hardest parts of reaching your divorce agreement, and it is especially hard when your kids are old enough to voice their opinion. Hearing that the kids do not want to live with you hurts, but you still have options. As you work with your divorce lawyer, use these tips to find an appropriate living arrangement that benefits your kids' well-being:

Avoid Lashing Out in Anger

It is normal to feel angry, hurt or even scared when your kids insist on living with the other parent. However, you must remember that kids often act out during a divorce, and their decision may have nothing to do with how they feel about you as a parent. Yelling or reacting with any type of negativity will only make the issue worse. After all, no one wants to live with someone who lashes out at them in anger. Although it is hard, try to remain calm when you are talking to your children. If necessary, speak to a neutral party alone such as a counselor or lawyer so that you can vent your frustration.

Identify Your Child's Reasoning

Kids often operate with a limited worldview that pertains specifically to getting what they want out of life. Trying to see their perspective gives you insight into why they continue to want to live with their other parent. For example, your child may be worried about having to quit their high school football team or leave their girlfriend behind if living with you means moving to a new house. Alternatively, your child may feel protective of the other parent and think you are fine living alone. Once you understand your child's reasoning, you can then begin working out a suitable arrangement that meets their needs.

Consider Finding a Compromise

For many families, joint custody arrangements are a solution for battles over where a child lives after a divorce. Alternatively, your ex might not even be interested in taking on the responsibility of being the primary custodial parent. Work with your ex and their lawyer to negotiate a compromise that gives both of you the right amount of time with your kids. While your children may have some input, remember that it truly comes down to you, your ex and the court to determine where they will live.

Staying strong as a parent through a divorce is challenging when your kids seem to favor their other parent. Remember not to take this personal. With the right mindset and legal advice, you can overcome this challenge and reach a suitable parenting agreement with your ex-spouse.

Contact a law office like Kleveland Law for more information and assistance. 


7 September 2017